Work of Art: S1E4 Part 1 (NSFW)

Darlings, it was a shit-smeared, self-sucking reality television EXTRAVAGANZA!

Andres Serrano in the house, bitches!



COLOR US IMPRESSED.

That the show got someone like Andres Serrano to come on instantly adds a legitimacy to the proceedings that reminded us of the good old days of Project Runway, before the endless parade of no-name celebrity judges whose only critiques amounted to "I'd wear that!"

And we liked the fact that he was not only game, but that he argued a bit with the judges. It makes a difference when an actual practitioner sits in on the judging panel. We do tend to think that's one of the few really weak areas of the show, the lack of an actual artist on the panel. He wound up being a lot more forgiving of some of the excesses of the --CHINA CHOW! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, GIRL?!?

We J'ADORE China Chow! We just want to shout her name. China Chow! It's actually a little hard to type it without adding an exclamation point every time. China Chow! Is not a name to be whispered. China Chow! Is wearing a skirt that looks like a lampshade and she is rocking the shit out of it! China Chow! Is a little bit bitchy on the judging panel and we kind of love her for that. China Chow! Is really tiny, isn't she? China Chow! It's a floor wax AND a dessert topping!

China Chow! Dresses better than Heidi, Padma, and even Nina sometimes.

In other Work of Art news....

Peregrine needs to up her dosage.

Alrighty, then! Let's look at some "shocking" art. But first, let's complain a bit. See, "Make something shocking" is about as lame a directive as one could possibly give to an artist. It is the EXACT equivalent of ordering a fashion designer to "make something pretty." On the one hand, we think the directive resulted in some piss-poor (pun TOTALLY intended) art. On the other hand, that was probably the WTFiest hour of reality television we've ever seen. Contestants were stripping down and jerking off and smearing shit all over themselves left and right! Could you imagine Tim Gunn trying to mentor a scene like that? "Designers, I'm concerned. Nina doesn't respond well to ejaculate on her dresses."

ANYWAY.





Congrats to Abdi! We agree with the decision but we kind of think he won by default because there was so much ass in that gallery. We loved the concept of what he was doing, but we think the time constraints tripped him up again. He originally planned to do quite a bit more heads than that and we think the piece would have been stronger if he had.

In addition, we don't think the piece works entirely on its own. Once he explained it, it became powerful, but without the explanation we think the piece only comes across like a well-executed oddity. The faces - on our television, at least - looked too stylized to read as African-American at a glance. We're not saying he should have given them all stereotypical features, but to us, they just look like stylized depictions of generic "angry man" faces.

Still, we did love the concept and he was miles ahead of anyone else.




"So Jaclyn, why did you decide to do Work of Art?"
"For the exposure."

Look, we understand that oftentimes, artists will use themselves as the canvas or place themselves within the piece. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's certainly nothing wrong with a little nudity. Someone who looks like Jaclyn could easily produce art that asks questions about the objectification of women or the modern definition of attractiveness or any of a hundred other themes and topics. But that's not what she does. She takes generic bathroom shots of herself with her clothes off that look like any of hundreds of thousands of online booty ads from a hookup site.

And if she had something interesting to say about that, we'd applaud it. But she doesn't. Her first response to any art challenge is "Take a picture of myself naked." And that's IT. That's the ENTIRETY of her thought and creative processes. She totally got her ass saved by Erik this week and we have to admit, it was a fantastic idea (which makes us think that Erik is probably an insanely creative type who lacks the training to be an artist). In a way, we don't blame her for owning up to the judges because the only thing the judges liked about her work was entirely someone else's idea.


Now let's look at the bottom...FOUR.




We could have been sold on this one if she'd had something a little more interesting and provocative to say. "The modern church is full of opportunists and charlatans" was a very timely and shocking message ... 600 years ago.

If she'd had something a little more in-your-face going on, the kind of naive-looking Mad Magazine art style would have read as ironic and unsettling.



Enh. "Priests have sex with little boys" is not as shocking as it once was, sad to say. Not to mention it's such a cliche to default to that immediately when you hear the word "shocking." He said that it was his intention to make something that looks like an '80s album cover and we kind of believe him even if we do think it's a lame route to go.

We do think that the composition and execution of the photograph was well done and it's probably what saved him from an elimination, for which we're grateful. We don't love the guy or anything, but it would have truly sucked if he got eliminated on the same challenge where he saved the possible winner's ass singlehandedly.

And we agreed with Jerry that the caption was unnecessary and really weakened the whole piece.

Now let's look at the two who went home. John? What are your thoughts on this challenge?

"Being gay people are always noticing everything you do anyway, so I don't want any unnecessary attention by doing shocking things."

What?

WHAT?

Excuse us, Mr. Plaid Shirt and Sensible Haircut, but you are just about the LEAST shocking gay one could ever hope to encounter. Go take a stroll through the East Village circa 1980 and you'll see some very shocking gays. You? Not so much. We kind of doubt that "everyone" is noticing you as much as you think.

What makes this even funnier is he said THAT...


And produced THIS.



"Oh, everyone looks at me because I'm gay so I don't want to do anything shocking. I know! I'll do a high school pep rally poster depicting someone doing the gayest thing one could possibly do!"

Darlings, you'll occasionally hear a gay tell a funny story about themselves and end it with "I couldn't have looked any gayer if I had a cock in my mouth." Well. There you go.

As the judges said, the subject matter might have worked if he'd depicted it in any manner but this one, which just looked amateurish and cartoonish and did nothing to depict the kind of social isolation he said he was going for.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!


HAHAHAHAHA ew HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

We just loved the surrealism of all the judges and contestants standing around and pretending not to notice the shit-smeared crazy woman in the room. Then again, maybe that was Nao's point.

But we don't think it was. She literally could not explain one bit of her piece to any of the judges. We know she's all "I'm not responsible for your reaction blahblahblah," but if you can't say anything in defense of or by way of explanation of your work, then come on.

There's been some speculation that Nao's entire appearance on this show was a form of performance art for her and we're starting to come around to that theory, mainly because she's such a walking cliche of what people think performance artists are that we half-think it must be deliberate. It's possible she's that un-self-aware, but she doesn't strike us as such.


[Screencaps:projectrungay.blogspot.com - Photo Credit: BravoTV.com]

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Labels: Work of Art, Work of Art Season 1, Work of Art Season 1 Episode 4